I’ve previously written about the struggles that I have faced making friends in our not-so-new community. After four years, I am surprised that I have not found other women to connect with. I now realize that I set my expectations too high.
It is a tough realization, but it is the truth. I expect that people will follow through with what they say. I expect that people will treat me in the manner in which I am treating them. Expectations and reality vary so much in many aspects of life, I am not certain why I expected it to be different when it came to making friends.
The feedback that I received from my readers on my last friendship post was wonderful, and I took away a lot from it. {Thank you ALL so much!} One big ah-ha for me was a comment mentioning that people who have been disrespectful to me probably haven’t thought twice about the situation-that forgiveness is for ME not for them.
So, after the snarky message to “stop writing about” her on my blog; I have decided to forgive her thoughtless behavior. Not for her sake, but for mine. She has shown me that some people are unkind. That is a lesson that I learned as a child but let slip from my mind at some point in adulthood. I am sure that she’s stopped reading by now, but that does not matter. My act of forgiveness is for me, not for her. Just like I write this blog for me, not for her. It’s about me, not her. My time is valuable and I intend to spend it on individuals who respect and value me.
Last week, I was fortunate to be able to spend a few days with a group of very inspiring and creative women at the Type A Parent Conference. They taught me to be myself, always use the right word not the best word, never take less than I deserve, and to follow my instincts. Moving on, growing, and not worrying about what others will think. All part of the new path that I am on. The new journey that awaits will be a scary adventure for this introvert, but I am excited about what it might bring!
Have you had an ah-ha moment recently?
This is part of series of posts titled Motherhood Mondays where I’ll be sharing my parenting experiences, tips and advice. If there is a specific topic you would like to see in the coming weeks, please email me with Motherhood Mondays in the subject line.
My ah-ha moment this week was a reminder to keep thinking positively and letting the positive thoughts influence me, not the negative ones.
It is great that you had the chance to go to the conference and clear your head… Just don’t let people get to you, it is hard I know…..
Thanks, Susan! You’re right…it is hard to shrug off the jerks. But, I guess that’s part of what makes the world go ’round!
great article I set mine high and then easily let down. We cannot expect people to be perfect, we all are full of flaws!
I’m not expecting everyone to be perfect, but I do expect someone to respond to a text/phone call made an hour before we’re set to meet up. If they want to cancel, fine, but ignoring someone isn’t the right thing to do. Live and learn, I suppose!
I personally don’t think your expectations are too high at all! I wish I lived closer to you! We seem to have the same expectations 🙂
I think staying positive and focusing on the positive in every situation is healthiest thing to do. It’s easy to be disappointed and get hung up on the negative but it just doesn’t do any good.