Motherhood: Operation “Stuck”

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Recently, my daughter drew me a picture – which to me – told a lot about where she thought about me and my status in the family. I am the biggest figure in the center – with all the other family members surrounding me. I think a lot of children feel this way about their Mothers.

It’s a lot of responsibility, isn’t it?

It’s certainly not easy. I home school, help them with their violin and Baritone practices, bring them hither and thither, feed them, kiss their boo boos, be the official and professional vomit catcher, plan all their activities, do all their activities, be their friend, be their mentor, be their role model, and be there all. In addition to all that, I blog, and sew, I do this and I do that.

Most days I’m up all night – then up all day.

For me, it’s so easy to get lost in the craziness – it’s almost as if I am loosing myself.

Every once in a while, I lock the bathroom door. I get a moment to ponder – to wonder…

Where do I fit in to this equation? When do I matter?

When I am at the end of my rope, I wonder – how in the world am I going to hang on?

What do you think happens when the very glue that holds everything together – comes unstuck?

Not pretty.

So, what can we do (practically) to prevent “us” from becoming unstuck?

1. Go to the gym. Presently, I go to the gym 3-4 times a way. It is my “me” time. A time to get strenuous exercise. A time to work my heart, and give my brain an hour off. This is so important in my life – my body actually craves it.
2. Take a Saturday afternoon off – I’m totally supportive of doing what works for you. Maybe you want to write your blog outside the home. I do that sometimes. I have a nursling at home, so I do it between feedings (cause I really despise pumping). I take a few hours at Starbucks, get a hot chocolate – and just sit and write in peace. For me, it’s such a relief, not to have to write and deal with kids. It’s so great to be able to just “exhale”. Maybe you want to get your hair cut or go to the spa. I haven’t had my hair done in over a year. Maybe close to 2. If that makes you feel better about yourself and what you are doing – then I would say go spend some money on yourself.
3. Go out for hot chocolate/lunch/dinner with some non-judgmental friends. Go with people who are not out to compete, but genuinely care about you and how you are feeling. I think the key point here is to have the ability to talk to people who understand you – and what you are going through.
4. Positive thinking. You are what you think. All that negative thinking has to go. If you stay positive, your outlook will also be positive. Ultimately, you will find that you are more satisfied with yourself and what you are doing. You will get results! So, when those negative comments start creeping in your head, replace them with a positive thought.
5. Pick up a hobby of your own. Sew, knit, garden…whatever. Have something of your own – that you love doing – and take the time to do it! Us Mothers, we give all of ourselves to others. It is time that we make some back for ourselves. You might say that you don’t have enough time in a day. I don’t have the time either. Personally, this is a big unsticking point for me. I have got to have my own thing – for my sanity and security. For me, the lack of sleep is totally worth the joy that I get out of doing what I love.
6. Find and trust in a higher being. Have faith! For me it helps to pray to know that I am doing the right thing/on the right path. It helps me to be able to go through another day.

In order to take care of somebody else, we need to take care of ourselves. I can always find 1001 reasons for not doing something – I’m too tired, my head hurts, I’m too busy…the list can go on and on. I try to think of one good reason. If I can find just one good reason, then I do it! Most of the time, the reason is…

Because I’m worth it.

What are your reasons? How do hang on? How do you remain “stuck”?

 

About Lisa

Lisa is a married, homeschooling mom of 3 (2 boys and 1 girl). She cares about the strength of the family in America, and often blog about babies/kids, natural parenting, homeschool, and marriage. You can connect with Lisa via her blog, Google+, Twitter, and Facebook.