I started writing this post about the hurtful things kids say in September 2013. I look at it every once in a while just sitting there in the draft stage. It seems to be aching for me to add to it or to delete it. Each time I re-read it, my heart breaks a little bit. I take comfort in knowing that I am not the only mother that has experienced a moment like this.
It’s easy to share all of the wonderful things that children do, but sharing the hurtful things kids say is hard. A few months ago, my over tired four year-old said something I wasn’t prepared to hear. At least not yet, anyway. My heart broke and I felt sick to my stomach when I think back to when he uttered those six little words.
I Wish You Weren’t My Mom .
He was overtired. He was mad because I was asking him to clean up his bedroom. Where he heard those six little words, I’ll never know. But it cut like a knife through me. It’s taken me a few weeks to write this, because I wasn’t sure that I wanted to share this part of my life. But, no one lives a perfect life. It’s taken even longer to hit the little button to publish.
My son won’t be the last child to say something mean to his mother. Sadly, I know this won’t be the last time I hear him say something like this. The teen years aren’t that far off. All I can do is hope that I am doing a great job parenting him and that I instill a love of others and a desire to be friendly and kind.
Ugh. Those hurtful words make me feel so awful for the mean things I said to my parents as a child. I can only hope that all of the good things that I’ve gone on to do helped to heal their wounds; because all the good he is doing is working to heal mine.
This is part of an occasional series titled Motherhood Mondays where I’ll be sharing my parenting experiences, tips and advice. If there is a specific topic you would like to see in the coming weeks, please email me with Motherhood Mondays in the subject line.
By now, I’m sure your boy doesn’t even remember her said it- at this age, they only remember things that are repeated, (that’s why they ask for the same old stories to be read over and over): I would suggest turning his “room cleaning chore” into a game: He gets one point for making his bed after breakfast, one point for putting away his toys, 1 point for picking up his dirty clothes/socks: A “3 point score”and he gets a special snack ( like a fruit smoothie or bananas & peanut butter on whole grain bread, dried fruit leather, something nutritious). 2 points: You pick his treat. 1 point, You tell him “Good job” but no snack until you score another point.