I’m sure you’ve heard the news that Gwyneth and Chris are embarking on a new journey – conscious uncoupling. While I don’t understand why they won’t use the term D-I-V-O-R-C-E, it’s not my marriage dissolving. It’s not for me to judge; although I did a little bit there. Oops. But, I find it ridiculous to give a fancy term to something that is plain as a day a divorce.
Again, it’s not my marriage. I am not consciously uncoupling. The Texan and I are very consciously coupled, in case you were wondering.
We all know that Gwyneth must be enduring a pain and sadness that she didn’t expect, probably didn’t think she would ever experience. I think a bit of mourning must come into play when you divorce. The loss of a non-marital relationship can be difficult; a marriage crumbling in front of the world must be even worse. So, why are we showing support of the drama that the media is stirring up because of recent comments she made during an interview with E!?
She added, “I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”
She is a mother. Like me, probably like you. She has a job. Like me, probably like you. She has guilt about not being there for her children. Like me, probably like you.
Motherhood is hard. Having a job is hard. Doing both is hard too.
We all make decisions based on what is familiar, common, and comfortable to US. I am not an actress. I am a writer. Although I may not be physically away from The Boy, there are days when I am mentally a million miles away. Those days are hard. He misses me; and I miss him.
Like Gwyneth, I made the choice to do what I do. Unlike Gwyneth, my decisions aren’t for the world to see because I haven’t been interviewed by E!. I am happy that I am not criticized by the world for basically saying that being a working mother is hard. Why does it matter what her profession is? If she were a motivational speaker, a corporate trainer, or a member of a traveling dance troupe, would everyone be so quick to beat her up for saying that balancing her choice of career and motherhood was hard?
It doesn’t matter who your employer is or what your profession is, being a mother is hard.
We need to come together as women and mothers in a show of support, not publicly berate someone because of their choices.
What are your thoughts on Gwyneth’s comments? Do you think the controversy and attention is warranted?
This quote is so touching “She is a mother. Like me, probably like you. She has a job. Like me, probably like you. She has guilt about not being there for her children. Like me, probably like you.”
I love my mom so much, I can imagine how she devoted her life to us. She gave up everything just for us and I can really say that there is no love in this world that can surpass a mother’s love.
I really don’t focus on what celebrities say. I focus on my family and do the best job I can as a mother. In the end, no one is perfect and we should just do our best to raise happy, healthy children.
I did not know there was a controversy or that she was getting divorce or that she even had children. What bothered me about her comment is saying that moms with “regular” 9-to-5 jobs somehow have it easier. Motherhood is hard whether you’re a SAHM, 9-to-5 mom, or apparently a jet-setting Hollywood mom.
I feel bad for her and her family, kids especially. It’s going to be a tough time regardless of what they call it (divorce or conscious uncoupling).
What she said does bother me, yet I don’t know her at all to say if she actually meant what it sounded like. I’ve never really liked her much, thought she came off really entitled – perhaps this just confirms my thoughts.
Honestly, I think people just want an excuse to throw celebrities under the bus and people should just leave her alone. She’s RIGHT, it IS a different experience.
I’m with you – Im really tired of people bashing her. I think they’re trying to avoid negative connotations for the kids sake.
I am really out of the loop with celebrities so I really don’t know anything about this couple but what I pull away from her quotes is that she feels like others believe she isn’t allowed to struggle or have a hard life. She’s trying to justify her struggle by saying that she works away from home and more hours a day than a lot of other moms do, which has a unique set of struggles. I’m sure that’s true. That doesn’t mean its not hard being a mom with a 9-to-5, but based on this quote alone, I don’t think she was trying to say that either. Its just sad to me that people have such a hard time saying “I struggle with life sometimes!” so they have to explain themselves – we ALL struggle, regardless of our work and home situation – just because you get paid more or work different hours than someone else doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to struggle sometiems.
Too bad we live so shallowly that we watch famous people exploited on TV. That said, if she didn’t want the attention, why post on social media that you have your own politically correct term for divorce. She shouldn’t need anyones approval to seperate or divorce. It’s between her, her husband, her children and her God.
I agree, Jeannie. She doesn’t need approval from anyone to move on from her marriage, perhaps her celebrity status causes her to feel that she needs to explain this to her fans? I wrote this post, though, in response to the backlash over a recent interview on E!. She was {again} exploited on TV for her comments about motherhood being hard for her. I’m sure it is hard for her, it’s hard for all mothers!
I can’t even imagine what it must be like to live in the spotlight like some of these celebrities do. I am sure being in the public eye makes it even more challenging, but it does seem like her and her husband want what is best for the kids = and that is what really counts.
I agree with you 100%. I think their decision to “consciously uncouple” is a private matter. They do not owe anyone an explanation. I cannot even imagine being in the spotlight and having everything I do and say looked at under a microscope. Motherhood is hard…very hard! Maybe the fact that she made it seem like it would be easier if she had a “normal” job is what people are getting all crazy about?
I am really bummed about her marriage breaking up. There are so few Hollywood couples that make it, and I really thought theirs would last. At least they are being extremely civil about it. I give them a lot of credit for that. I’m sure there are a lot of reasons for their decision that we are not privy to, but I’m sure they are making a decision they think is best for their family.
I thought they would make it, too. They seemed fairly “unHollywood-ish”.
Although it’s troubling to hear office jobs being referred to as “regular” jobs, I certainly don’t think it was intended to offend. I can not pretend to relate to the day in the life of a celebrity, no more that a celebrity can relate to our lives, no matter what our employment situation may be.
For most of us, there is no frame of reference, so we can’t comprehend others’ situations…which makes it so much easier for us to judge!
However…conscious uncoupling?? Seriously?
Lastly, cheers to all of you ladies that take care of your family and other obligations, while working a “regular” job. It’s not easy! I’d sure love a cook, nanny and a personal trainer. On second thought, maybe not…. 🙂
I wonder if those who have office jobs refer to them as “regular” jobs – when I first started my office job, I called it a “real job” as I was recently out of college working in a restaurant before getting a desk! What is troubling is that everyone is so quick to judge. I don’t believe her intention was to offend anyone, I think she was trying to say that it was difficult being away from her children. Not so much that her chosen job is more difficult that someone else’s.
The conscious uncoupling is another issue on it’s own!
If we focussed more on our lives and communities like some of us do on celebrities perhaps we would be more in tuned with what is needed from us and less likely to judge quickly something that in the end usually is several degrees away from us
I think people put too much weight and judgement on celebrities. I mean; it can’t be easy living in the spotlight. And it can be really hard. It’s not my place to judge because I haven’t walked a mile in her shoes. Does she have it tough? Probably. Do regular working moms have it tough? Yes. I think she can only get in trouble if she compares and says one is harder than the other. They are DIFFERENT. and both hard. It’s like comparing apples to oranges. And calling on harder than the other is the only thing that would rub me the wrong way.
I don’t think any of us have any right to judge. I’m sur some of the things we do or say may seem odd to her. Celebs are people too.
I generally don’t pay attention to celebrities. They live in a world most people don’t experience. Thus, they have different realities and sometimes say strange things.
I had no idea about any of this before reading your blog post. Thanks for sharing and keeping me up to date.
I had heard that she said something controversial but did not google search to find out what it was. I am not sure why she had to go there. Her reasons for what she does or why she is divorcing are exactly that…her reasons. What another mother does or doesn’t do should not really have anything to do with it. I can understand why some women would be upset with what she said. Maybe she should walk in their shoes for a couple of weeks before she makes a statement like that.
I can’t imagine what it is like to see your marriage dissolve, much less in front of the whole world. It’s so important not to judge others, especially if you don’t know what they are going through.
Love that open letter picture and you’re spot on Gwenyth is like the rest of she is human, makes mistakes, mourns the loss of a marriage and will have to work to get things back in order.
I didn’t know about the interview or the backlash either. I think you’re right, moms supporting moms is not a bad idea a’tal! 🙂
Much like I try not to judge other parents, I try not to judge celebrities. My husband is a (non-celebrity) actor and he does have a different level of intensity when he’s working on a show or a set than we he’s doing was of his other jobs. So I get where she was coming from and I’m trying not to judge too harshly. But would I want to be friends with her? No.
To be honest with you I heard they were splitting up shrugged and moved on.. I don’t know why we get some fascinated with ‘celebrities’ x
I am not sure where I stand but I do know we have no right to judge. We all make plenty of mistakes.
I heard about Gwyneth but really didn’t know the specifics – I feel sad for her.
I know nothing of what is going on in her life as I normally do not watch television – sadly I have heard her name I think but not completely sure. Regardless – moms are moms, we all do what we thing is best and no matter what our decision is, we are looked down on. I am a stay at home mom and get looked down on for not having a job outside the home, bringing in an income and was even told I was wasting my life and setting a bad example for my children. I have a degree but just choose to stay home and take care of my family. I do not have an issue with it either way – work – stay home – do what is right for you and your family. I wish we could all be more supportive of each other.
You know, I totally agree with you about the media. I get so sick of the constant coverage of everything the celebrities do and making such a huge deal out of it. I suppose it is “what sells” though so that is why they continue doing it. Doesn’t “sell” to me, that’s for sure but I guess I’m in the minority as usual. 🙂 And as you have said, a divorce is painful enough on its own and it being so public I’m sure makes it that much worse.
I don’t follow stuff like this. It’s no one business either, I mean do people want their lives being talked about in the paper? I feel sorry for them for that alone, having to deal with that backlash and media frenzy over things they do in their lives
Well she has the option to fly her family on location when most regular moms cannot bring their kids to work. I know she meant well by her comment, but she needs to pick her words more carefully in the future
I don’t know about this news. I am so way behind when it comes to celebrities… Motherhood is very challenging and I salute all the mothers out there for doing their best for their kids and family.
I know that I would be riddled with guilt if I had to work outside the home for as much and long as she does. I don’t work outside the home now but when I did, it killed me.
I’m with you Ashley – working outside the home just wasn’t for me! I feel so fortunate to be able to work from home now.
I’ve been hearing about this conscious uncoupling term but didn’t stick with it. Whatever her decision is, hope it’s for the best.
I adore this post. I wasn’t offended in the least by what she said. I agree with everything you said here. I think she is awesome (met her last year). All moms think their job and parenting combined is the harder way so I don’t blame her for thinking another way is easier.
I’ve been through divorce… Ive been through times not seeing my child… I am not an actress – but because of life – I knew I had to work 2 jobs… And there was times that the only time I saw my son was when he was sleeping. Being a mom – SAHM Or Working outside…. its Not easy.