Here’s my two cents for today: Every parenting journey is different.
Just because a celebrity names her kid Rainbow, Apple, or Moonshine, doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Because your friend feeds her children dinner at the local fast food restaurant twice a week, doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Because your neighbor allows her children to play in the street, doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Because you breastfeed, doesn’t mean your friend will do the same.
You see, as parents our responsibility is to raise our children in the best way that we know how in a manner that works best for our family. What we show others about our family unit is often an edited version; there is a good chance you don’t know your best friend as well as you think you do. The beauty of the world is that there are so many individuals exploring their unique talents, strengths, and weaknesses. Yes, we all have weaknesses. Everyone.
It’s important that to remember that what we view as a weakness, is viewed as a strength by another person. We all look at the world through different glasses. Things that come into view for me, may not be the same that you’ll be drawn toward.
The Boy is an amazing child, and I am so fortunate to parent him. He cleans up his toys, he loads the dishwasher after meals, and he climbs into his car seat without an argument. He does these things because I have taught him that they are important tasks {you need to participate in the running of our home and you need to be safe while we’re out in the world}. He needs gentle reminders of these things, but that is all part of my role as a parent. I am his mother. I am supposed to teach him.
My parenting journey has been easy – we breastfed for 15 months with no issues, his first solid food was avocado {which he now hates for the record}, he slept for 7 hour stretches at four-months old {amazing, eh?!}, we toilet trained in a weekend. It seems that every goal that I have had in my mind we have achieved without much difficulty. I know the toddler years will be easier than the teen years, so I’m cheering now. Come to me in ten years and ask me how I’m doing?!
Is your parenting journey how you envisioned it?
Disclosure: This post was inspired by Raising Cubby: A Father and Son’s Adventures with Asperger’s, Trains, Tractors, and High Explosives by John Elder Robison. Parenting is a challenging job, but what challenges does a parent with Asperger’s face? Join From Left to Write on March 12 as we discuss Raising Cubby. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes. This post contains affiliate links
So true. Every parent/child learning lesson will be different for each family because we as individuals are different.
I feel in our home as ling as it works and is something I can have a little give or take with good results. Then I have succeeded.
I would imagine that you need to tweak things for each child, too? That your parenting techniques would change, though your ultimate goal would be the same.
Oh yes! Most definitely ! I have 3 girlsand although much of it is the same the technique varies.
You are doing really well. I have heard some horror stories about the potty training.
I haven’t raised any kids myself but from what I’ve seen of my friends kids…even the ones most “normal” are different from any other kids. That is part of what makes them so wonderful.
I should have included the fact that my elbow was bandaged from surgery three days before we started and The Texan was travelling on business! I guess you could say that I single-handedly potty trained The Boy!
LOl! Literally, eh?
I’ve been really wanting to read one of John Elder Robinson’s books. I would love the insight of another adult with Asperger’s.
I tried the weekend potty training. It took us four years with each child.
It was a very interesting book. The beginning started off a bit slow, and I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stick it out. You can read more posts inspired by the book, as well as a review of the book, at From Left to Write.
Yes this is what can be very frustrating about unsolicited advice. And there is a difference between advice and opinion.
Unsolicited advice is the worst! I try desperately not to do that myself. I’m sure that I’ve been guilty of it a few times, but always have the best intentions in mind. At times, it is hard to remember that someone else’s way of doing something might actually work for them!
I’m rather jealous. Potty training in one weekend? Will you come over and potty train my guy?
It was exhausting! On the first day, we’d go to the bathroom every twenty minutes. On the second day, I moved it to every thirty minutes. On the third day, he was going on his own. It was a commitment, but so worth it! I mentioned to another reader that I was also recovering from surgery on my elbow, I was toilet training out of necessity really. I physically could not change a diaper and my husband had to go out of town on business. You don’t know how thrilled I was that it actually worked so quickly.
My parenting journey has been a bit of a challenge. My son was a preemie, and now he’s a very stubborn 7-year-old. I believe the two are related! I think preemies have to be a bit stubborn to survive their first weeks or months. So while it does drive me nuts at time, I am thankfully that he is what doctors refer to as “a spirited child.” I wouldn’t change him for the world.
It’s so true–every parenting journey is different! It’s hard to remember that, though, and can often lead to comparisons and insecurities and jealousies among parents. It helps to remember that every child is different, and every parent is different…and the pairings of them make every parenting journey unique!
I should of called my child Moonshine – that would make great teenage years and possibly rehab after – LOL
I wish my husband understood my son better – sensory issues for him is all about being spoiled – Sigh… I know I am not alone on that. But it is great to see a father taking a leading role in the navigating life with his son (not against him)
Maybe your husband would enjoy reading the book? Sometimes it is hard for men to relate to things they don’t fully understand. To see another parent go through something similar might help?