Each week, I’ll be talking with a group of blogging moms about parenting topics that are important to us. Mostly, we’ll be chatting via Facebook and bringing you our transcripts. This week, the topic was when to decide to have another child. As you’ll see below, this topic sparked a very interesting conversation.
Darcy:We wanted to start trying for #2 once Rissa turned one, but have delayed it until she’s about 18 months because of flying in August. It took 3 years to conceive our first so we have no idea if we can have another or how long it will take. Right now I almost wish she had a twin to play with! And she just loves babies!
Gena: That was another thing, Darcy. Our oldest LOVES babies and always has, so we kinda knew he was going to like his brother. He never went through any kind of big jealousy thing, really, so it was nice.
Sarah: Tonya, I feel for you. We’ve been trying for 13 months. I started clomid and had a good progesterone level yesterday so we’ll see! When my daughter was 6 weeks old I wanted another one right away but quickly realized, I wouldn’t be able to handle it for a variety of reasons but also because I wanted to have time with just my daughter and me. So while I wish I was pregnant now and having another baby before she turns 3 in August, I’m glad we’re having our girl time.
Cyndy: I had a very difficult pregnancy (issues with a shortened and shortening cervix). After just 4 months, I was on partial bedrest and then at 6 months, I was on complete bedrest. After talking with my doctor and realizing that if I were to have another, it would likely be almost 9 months on bedrest, we stopped at one. I am lucky that Gwen has a brother and a sister from my husband’s previous marriage.
Tonya: Sarah, at my annual in August my doctor didn’t offer anything because he said there was no reason I couldn’t get pregnant that I was extremely healthy and able to get pregnant. Sometimes I wish he did offer clomid.
Valerie: I didn’t plan either one of my kids, my first was a complete surprise and my second was a when it happens it happens. That said my youngest was born 3 months before my oldest turned 3, and it was so hard at first but now that they are 4 and 7 it is the perfect spacing. They are the best of friends and I love it. Also, I do think it is easier with more than 1 (if they get along) because they play together and keep each other entertained.
Leila: My sisters and I are just about 4 years apart and did not get along growing up so I wanted my kids to be closer in age. My 2 are 28 months exactly (12/27 and 4/27) and they get along great. I will admit, in the beginning it was hard having two little ones, but they are super close (girl and boy) and I love it. I want #3, but hubby says no. Unfortunately for him (fortunately for me) I am 99% sure that I am currently pregnant with #3 (happy dance for me). I am scared and happy at the same time. I like that we have a boy and a girl already and they are getting at that age where we can do more stuff with them and as a family without having to worry about baby things. We have a 3 bedroom house so if #3 does come along, we will need to bunk up some kids which bothers me, but doesn’t at the same time. Financially we live paycheck to paycheck because we have not been smart. I am currently making a plan that we will abide to so that we can afford #3. I have pro’s and con’s that I go back and forth about and my biggest concern is when to know if it’s a good time. Then again, it is never a good time and I believe that my God will take care of me and my family and never give me anything I can’t handle. On another note, my daughter just turned 6 (she will turn 7 a few months after #3 is born if I am currently pregnant) and my son will turn 4 in April so they will be a good gap that I am hoping my kids will be helpers. Only now I will need #4 close in age to #3!
Emily: Our son just turned 2.5. My husband asked if I was ready for another, I am not sure. I love the time I have with my son, just the two of us. My husband was in India for one month, we got pregnant right when he returned. He’ll be traveling a bit with his new job, maybe we’ll be blessed with a second without really trying?!
Leila: That’s kind of my take on it too. I figure what’s going to happen is going to happen so why not just let things take its course. I mean, I was on birth control from the time of having my son until a couple of months ago and just didn’t have the time/money to go back to the doctor. So we used condoms. Of course, he didn’t ALWAYS use one, but my thoughts were if its meant to be, it will be!
Lena: My kids are 21 months apart. The second one was a little bit a ahead of the schedule. I think I started itching on having the second one, when my first one was about 9 months or so. My sister and I are 11 years apart and I growing up was always lonely and wishing for sibling. That is why I really wanted to have kids close together. My kids are 4 and 2. They keep each other busy. They seem to have a lot in common. But don’t take me wrong — they are a lot of work. I recently told my friend, we had kids so close together before we realized how much work they are.
Tamara: As far as if your kids will get along because of the distance between them you can not predict, they each have their own personalities and some clash if they are close or far apart. My oldest two (11.5 months apart) are not close at all they can hardly be in the same room for more than a minute before they start bickering. The little two (14.5 months apart) get along great 95% of the time.
We origianlly said we’d try again after E was 18 months old, but right now we are having so much fun with her we decided to wait and see when the time feels right. I am almost 5 years older than my brother and we fought a lot so I think I want mine closer than that at least.