As a stay-at-home mom, I feel like I work hard every day. Every single day. From son up to son down (yes, intentional use of the word son!) How do I know if I’m doing a good job?
Sure, it’s wonderful to see my son grow and become more independent. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate being able to stay-at-home and be a full-time parent. I love waking up to The Boy’s smiling face, cleaning up his messes, listening to his stories about trains and dinosaurs, and watching him splash (a lot) in the bath tub. His childhood is going by so quickly, we’re almost ready to begin celebrating half birthdays! (Hooray!)
With 2012 drawing to a close, I’m wondering if I’m doing a good job. Am I being the best parent that I can be? When I was a corporate gal, we received an annual review and a mid-year review. I always looked forward to those. I loved checking in with my manager to see how I was doing. And getting a raise wasn’t so bad either.
Now that I don’t have a manager to coach me along, where do I turn to gauge my accomplishments? I love being independent, and knowing that my new boss is growing well and learning a lot. I still can’t help but wonder what I could be doing better.
As a parent, how to you determine if you’re doing a good job raising your children?
This post was written as part of BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo December challenge. Today’s prompt was “How hard do you think you work?” Sign ups to participate in this month’s Blog Roll have closed. Be sure to check out the participating bloggers and the daily prompts. Daily writing prompts can often become a great source of inspiration and encourage you to write about things you haven’t previously explored.
I can so relate to this post. Glad I stumbled across it tonight….. as I sit here at 2am working at my computer, doing laundry and hemming my daughter’s pants for her band concert! LOL
After 10 years of being a work/stay at home mom – I’d like to say you kind of come into your own and “just know” that you’re doing a good job…. nope, doesn’t happen. LOL
If you’re anything like me – you just keep doing your best, striving to be better and better and that in itself is the reward. Your happiness and your family’s happiness – another reward.
Pat yourself on the back… I am sure you’re doing an awesome parenting job – and I’m really digging your blog too – so even more kudos to you 🙂
Kelly
Thanks, Kelly.
It’s tough to know if you’re making the right choices when it comes to parenting. I’m fortunate that I do receive compliments on his manners and behavior when we’re in public places, and his preschool teachers say that he is a good friend. Both of those things are important to me.
Going from a corporate environment to one where I have total control (well, almost!) has been a wonderful change, but I still miss the coaching from others!
Thanks so much for stopping by. Have a great weekend.
I still often wonder if I’m doing a good job … well, I guess I am doing a good job because I get compliments from others about their behavior and manner. But what I really wonder is if I’m doing the best job. Is there something more I should be doing? Am I doing absolutely everything possible? It’s overwhelming to try to get it all done with the short amount of time we really have with them before sending them out into the world. And the years really do speed up as they get older. My biggest prayer is that God will fill in all the gaps because I know I’m leaving a lot of them!
First, I have to say how much I enjoyed this post. I think we’ve all been in that place….questioning our abilities, wondering if there’s something more we should be doing, etc. I also think most people crave feedback of some sort (I know I do), whether it’s from an evaluation at a corporation, or just someone validating what we’re doing…..someone to verify that “yes, you’re doing good!” The simple truth is, the fact that you care enough to want to do more, be more, to improve as a mom…..that means you ARE doing a great job! You obviously have your priorities straight, are focused on your family and their happiness, and want the best for them. That makes an A+ Mom in my book. Look at that “baby’s” smile, see how content he is, how he knows he’s loved, how safe he feels. And there will be your answer. 🙂
you will always wonder if you are doing (or did) a good enough job raising them. I have 5 kids ranging from 10-21 and I still wonder about my oldest. Did I do a good enough job? I am really hard on my kids compared to a lot of parents I do know that. THEY do laundry or at least help me. THEY do dishes or at least help dry. They have chores and don’t get paid because it’s about helping out as a family. Sometimes I feel I am to hard on them because their friends get to do a lot more than they do. My 18 year old son came to me one day and we talked about how he was raised. He said there was times he hated how strict we were and was jealous of his friends. He says he now knows why we are so strick and even though he sometimes doesn’t want to admit it he is happy we are the way we are. As he has grown, some of his friends (u know the ones that got to do what ever they wanted) has turned to drugs or drinking. He says he knows it’s because they got to do everything they wanted. I truely hope all my kids feel the same way he does but so far I think I’ve done pretty well. We are moms and will always worry but there are those time where are kids actually do thank us.
I love this post! It’s true. I work part time and sometimes find myself wondering if that is the right choice and the best thing for my daughter. It’s hard to truly tell if it’s the right thing or if I’m doing a good job, I think as long as I know I’m doing my best, that’s what’s going to matter.
I think you can gauge by the way your kids act for the most part and how happy they are. You will be able to look in their eyes and see the love they have for you and then you know you are doing a great job 🙂
Sometimes other people tell me I’m doing a good job. That is the best 😀
Being a mom is a hard but rewarding job
you can always give yourself your own pat on the back… hehe
happy holidays to everyone!!!
You will see by the way they act around you and when they are not around you.
Oh my goodness, Emily, I love your humor so much! Intro of this post made my day!!
And I absolutely admire your dedication towards your son; I could tell he is #1 in your life!
He is so lucky to have such a devoted mother!
I often wonder if I am doing a good job as well. I am told sometimes but not as much as I want.
I believe I will know that I have done a good job of parenting when my children are kind, compassionate, self-motivated, respectful, independent, productive and most of all happy. There is still work to be don on some of these traits, but I have seen many of them become a part of my children. I do, however, wonder on a daily basis if I am doing a good job of parenting.
As a working parent of a child who is now a young adult, I learned that parenting work doesn’t always give you feedback that is easily disernable. You can see incremental things like how your child is doing in school or with playmates, or with decisions, but they don’t all come together until much later. Looking back is when you get a good read of the positives in the work and the mistakes made.
My philosophy is as long as they wake up healthy and happy everyday and respect others I am doing the best I can do with them. I know my children love me and I love them
I think most parents worry about this. It’s the parents that don’t worry about it that raise the type of kids we don’t want to raise. I think we just have to do our best each day and pray that they have learned form us and our actions to know what is right and wrong. That you are worry about it show’s that you are a good parent.
My daughter is 19 now and I think when you have raised a kid for that long you want to see what kind of person they will be when they are not under your wings any more, that is a true test of how you did as a parent.
It definitely makes me feel good when my boss tells me im doing a good job. I know she means it too because she doesnt say it that often. I think its important to give ourselves credit though. I feel like too often, atleast with me, I think to myself I can do better but sometimes its not the case. We are definitely our harshest critics.
I think all mom’s wonder the same thing. I was fortunate not to have to work outside the home and wondered if I was doing the right thing for myself and my kids. I have no complaints. My oldest son is in the Navy about to get married, one daughter in her third year of college and my youngest daughter in her first year (both out of state). I am lost right now. Our house is empty. I have no “career” and don’t know what to do with myself. It’s funny, when they are young you can’t wait until they are older, but now that they are, I wish for the opposite!
Parenting is a funny thing Amy. When they’re infants you can’t wait for them to roll over, to walk, to talk. Then they’re toddlers and you can’t wait for them to turn 5 – that means kindergarten and better reasoning skills. Then you want them to be in high school so they can drive.
My son is 3.5, I can remember wishing he’d start walking, but now I wish he was still a cuddly infant. They really do grow up fast, don’t they?
As for your “career” have you thought about volunteering in your community? There are so many wonderful organizations that would LOVE to have a volunteer who is patient, nurturing, organized, and has focus.
Whatever you decide, enjoy your time. Soon your kids will be married and you’ll have grandchildren…and isn’t that what life is really all about?!