We talk a lot about gender these days. What are “boy toys” and “girl toys”? Parents of daughters run to the aisles flocked with pink and come home with tulle skirts, dolls with tiny shoes, and glitter. Parents of boys shop for blue paint, big trucks, trains, and those dastardly Legos.
What would our world look like without these gender stereotypes? As parents, one of our greatest responsibilities is to teach our children to respect others and to welcome diversity.
The media and marketers make it difficult for parents to choose gender neutral toys. Marketing big wigs saw an opportunity and grabbed at it like a kid at an ice cream bar. Pink Legos and the wildly {un}popular Ken doll are two examples of how our culture won’t accept girls playing with traditional Legos or a young boy who might like dolls.
Children learn through play. Changing the color of their toys doesn’t influence them – we buy into that because of our fear of how others may judge our child’s choice of toy. As parents, we should encourage our children to play with the toys that they enjoy, regardless of color or what the item is. Just as we do friends.
Now think about it a little deeper. In a way that is a little scarier. But very real.
Imagine giving birth to a daughter, but raising her a son. I know, you’re thinking this sounds crazy. But, the practice of Bacha posh is common in Afghanistan and Pakistan. It allows the family to avoid the social stigma associated of not having any male children. Can you even imagine?
What do you think? In the United States, are gender biases encouraged by the media? What do you think it would be like to raise your child as another gender to avoid the social stigma?
I tried so hard to give my daughter a wide range of toys and she still latched onto princesses! But she has other interests as well, so I guess I did ok.
I was so worried there was going to be violences against these girls, i almost didm’t read it. The thing I found the most remarkable was that most accept this practice and even condone it. Certainly a very different part of the world!
I worried the same. Learning about other cultures is fascinating; particularly when practices are so different from what we view as appropriate and acceptable.
The media certainly aren’t helping, but I think we all play a role in this. When a baby is born and immediately swaddled in pink or blue … their gender is being defined. At baby showers when expectant mothers are showered in very gender-specific gifts, we’re all laying out a definition of gender. It’s sort of something I have to acknowledge and move past because if I think on it too long, I start to question so many of my own actions and purchases!
I agree to an extent, Kate. But I feel like we are pushed towards items by the media. I see it with my 5-year old son. He’ll see something pink and say “Oh, that’s for girls.” I do explain that a certain color doesn’t mean it is for girls or boys. That he can choose to play with or wear whatever he wants. It’s tough though. And over thinking it can make us go nuts!