Before I became a mother, I didn’t realize how my life would be changed by adding a child. What a shock. No one tells you specifically how it will change. Those other moms tell you to ‘just wait’ because ‘you’ll see’ what they’re talking about soon enough.
Motherhood Changes You
What they should tell you is that your priorities shift. I no longer have the desire to purchase a new purse every season {which is great for our family budget!} nor do I need the latest and greatest techie gadget {though I can hardly wait for my phone upgrade in June!}.
Although my life is much busier now, it feels much simpler too. I am happy that I do not answer to a “boss” every day – unless you count The Boy, who on some days believes he is my ‘master’ and I am his ‘puppet.’ I am happy that I no longer have to dress in business attire – though in my prior life we did have jeans day once per month. Which we had to pay for, by the way. A mere five dollar donation – the funds raised were given to a previously chosen charity like Big Brothers, Big Sisters or The United Way for examples. I am happy that I am no longer trying to meet someone else’s demands and deadlines. I am happy that I no longer suffer from stress-related headaches.
Is it tough being a stay-at-home parent? Of course it is. There are days when I won’t speak to another adult for hours. Part of me loves that, part of me hates that. At times, being a stay-at-home parent is isolating and lonely. My circle of friends is much smaller now than it was when I was a work-at-an-office wife. I have outgrown some friends, some friends have outgrown me. It is a very weird feeling. I reconnected with friends from long ago, many of whom have children close in age to The Boy. I am disconnected from a friend that I had for nearly twenty years, who named her first-born after me. Now that, is a very weird feeling. Part of me misses her, part of me does not. That is weird too.
Here I am. A woman. A wife. A mother. In all of my roles, I’m still learning along the way.
What has motherhood taught you about values, friendship and life?
When I think of my life and personality before kids it seems like another lifetime…..so much change I can barely remember life without kids….what did I do with all that spare time and energy???
Stopping by as part of the BSN hop. I don’t have children but I like your blog
Im on my way to motherhood and so excited! Hi, Im following from BSN.
TAke care!I look forward to reading more from your motherhood stories!
Motherhood really changes who you are as a person. Since I have had kids my world revolves around them and hubby is pretty much the only friend that I see unless it includes a whole hoard of little monsters running around. My heart grows more and more every day with love for my own little monkeys.
I can’t remember the last friend that I saw “all by myself”. Gosh, I’d have to go back and look at my calendar. And the funny thing is, I’d rather stay home with my husband & son if given the choice. Going out just isn’t as much fun as it used to be.
Thanks so much for stopping by!
One value that has changed since I had kids is the value of money. I still worry about paying the bills, and being able to provide for my family, but in light of my kids’ recent experiences with flu, croup, and breathing treatments, the fact that our furnace and our oven needed replaced, and our septic clogged up, all in a month’s time, didn’t faze me as much as it would have pre-kids. The fact that my kids remain healthy is my biggest concern these days. Everything else seems piddly!
I agree! Having healthy, happy kids is more important than anything else. Seems that all of the other things work themselves out in the end.
Thanks so much for visiting! Have a fantastic weekend.
I think I miss my freedom most. Before children, staying out late or an impromtu weekend getaway was as easy as batting an eye lash. Now I just want to sleep – nothing is better than sleep now. And while a weekend getaway could be fun, I just can’t imagine organizing the food (my son has multiple food allergies) and all the other the planning it would take. Plus, there is laundry and cleaning to do…..
BUT, despite all that – I love my little munchkins and they are my world, my new, very changed world.
Freedom is one thing that I miss, too. It’s tough to just “go” anywhere. Even to the store or to grab a coffee. Some things are a huge production and not so enjoyable! But, I wouldn’t change it for anything! Sadly, there will be plenty of time in a few years for me to run out and grab that coffee.
I work full-time out of my home, so I totally understand feeling isolated. I wish I didn’t have deadlines, stress, and the having to work feelings on top of that! But it brings money in and my hubby and I make it work so there is no day care. It has it’s pros and cons. Besides what you mentioned, motherhood has helped me learn how to prioritize better and do about five different things at once with only two arms, one of which is usually holding my squirming toddler 🙂
Motherhood certainly does teach us to be better time managers – and to be more coordinated than we ever thought possible!
Have a great week!
I’ve been a stay-at-home mom now for over 14 years. When I think of what I’ve learned in that time, well, a lot – and not so much. You see, just when I think I have things figured out my kids seem to reach another stage. And since I haven’t parented that stage before, well, I have new things to learn. But here’s an answer anyway.
As for values – God, my husband, and family are tops. I’ve learned to put them first as much as I can. Friendship – Good friends will stick with you through thick and thin. Some friends are good, but are only with you for a season. Enjoy them all. Life – ask yourself “what will my family and friends say about me when I’m gone?” It helps put things into perspective.
Marie I couldn’t agree more! As soon as I am comfortable with what stage I’m parenting, The Boy throws a curve ball my way!
Since leaving my corporate position, I haven’t thought much about what my legacy will be. I suppose it is important now, than it was then. Thanks for posing that question and making me think!
Have a great weekend!
Motherhood has taught me how to better pick my battles, take each day one at a time, and that no one has come up with a solution to sibling rivalry. I’ve, also, learned that toads don’t need a soapy bath, where there is mud there is my youngest son, reading is the hardest thing to learn/teach, and a sloppy dog kiss is the easiest way to make an upset child smile.
Motherhood teaches us more than we anticipated, doesn’t it?
I feel like I learn something new every day. And once I think I’ve figured this whole parenting thing out, my kid throws something new into the mix!
I could not agree more. I’ve noticed how many friends you gain or lose with each big step in your life. So far, motherhood has taught me patience and the value of real friends.
Patience – oh that is so important! As our children begin talking more, we begin to expect that their reasoning skills have developed as well. Typically, they haven’t – I know that I’ve been caught without patience a few times because of this issue!
Thanks so much for stopping by. Have a wonderful day!
Motherhood has taught me to put my kids’ interests above those of my friends and that young children need time investment but when they grow you will see the fruit of your labor
Some days are easier than others – I know that my son’s needs and interests are important, but sometimes I just want to be selfish & enjoy a hot cup of coffee in a quiet corner!
I agree that motherhood isn’t exactly something you can prepare for…at least not the changes you will experience once you become a mom. I didn’t find that out until after my son was here either!
For me, motherhood has put lots of things into perspective. I have realized what matters most, and what I need to let go of. My life is no longer just about me and my wants, and now I have someone that depends on me (though now that he’s 2, it feels like he’s depending on me less and less every day!).
Oh Kecia – wait until he turns 3. It’s so sad. {sorry to be a Debbie Downer}. The Boy turned three last July and has become so independent. He needs me less and less for the daily tasks, but still loves to cuddle and give kisses. I’m hoping that will last a long time!
“What has motherhood taught you about values, friendship and life?”
Motherhood has taught me the value of unconditional love. Love given by me and love given to me by me children.
Friendship shifts and changes through different stages of life, but true friends deepen. I love my friends’ kids like they were my own. Those friends help keep me sane too.
Life is messy. It is physically messy when they are little. It is emotionally messy as they get older. But the mess is a glorious mess because it is just a part of the treasure of living life with my children.
Some days, I am just tired, but snuggles and hugs at night wash right over the harshness of the day. Then, we look forward to a new day to start fresh for everyone.
You said it so well! It is about unconditional love, and being more open to change. I think that is what I, and many other moms, struggle with. The shock of how much change there would be once you become a mother is overwhelming and scary. Knowing that there are other more “experienced” moms who’ve gone through the same things helps to make it easier to accept.
Thanks so much for stopping by!
Wow…I really related to this post thank, thank you! Even though my kids are in school I’m still a stay at home mom because someone has take them to school, pick up, appointments, clean house, and the other 100 things that need to be done. I hear you about the friend issue, we all change so do relationships. My best girlfriend became friends with another one of my friends and now they hang out and I’m kind of of pushed out of the picture these days. They have a lot more in common- age, kids, and live close by each other.
It’s been an interesting path for me so far. I didn’t expect to experience so much change in so many areas of my life. I am looking forward to seeing what the next chapter will bring – The Boy will start Kindergarten in the fall of 2014, everything will be changing again.
Just when I was {sort of} used to things.
Thanks so much for stopping by! Have a wonderful day!
Motherhood has definitely taught me to be less hard on myself. Things don’t need to be perfect. My three year old thinks I’m beautiful when I’m stumbling around pre-coffee with bed-head and wearing dirty yoga pants in the morning. As long as the food tastes good, my kids don’t care that it isn’t worthy of a magazine spread. That it’s ok to be proud of your work, even if it’s a little flawed, as long as you enjoyed it and put an honest effort into it.
Isn’t it amazing how much we learn from our children? That all of the pressures we put upon ourselves are so unnecessary and unwarranted. Life is flawed, that’s why it is fun!
Have a wonderful day!
Motherhood has taught me that I have a stronger stomach than I thought I did. And because I have a child on the spectrum, it has taught me to think outside any box that anyone might try and place me. I feel blessed that I started homeschool in the fall of 2006 and now not only get to homeschool my kids but also those of my best friend’s as well as care for her one year old. Life is SO MUCH MORE wonderful with my kids in my life than if I didn’t have them! 🙂
I agree, life is wonderful with kids! I often wonder what I did with myself before my son was born. It’s no wonder that I was left feeling unfulfilled.
Thanks so much for visiting, hope you’ll stop by again soon!
Having children definitely changes you! My kids are now teenagers and we have a whole new set of changes!
Goodness, I don’t want to think of the teenage years! It’s a bit of a way off for us, but I know that the reality is that it’s right around the corner! My son will start kindergarten in the fall of 2014, and that seems like tomorrow!
Ah motherhood has so changed me! I completely agree- it is SO hard but so worth it.
It has definitely made me see how selfish I am. Sometimes I just want to do what I want to do, but there are 4 little people depending on me.
I think the hardest part is what you mentioned- not speaking to another adult for hours!
I think I’m selfish, too, at times. There are days when I’d like to just jump in the car and go – where? Who knows. But having the freedom to do that would be great. And then I sit down and realize that I wouldn’t go far, and I’d call one hundred times!
My oldest son will be 14 years old in just a couple of months. He was a handful, out of the box sort of kid, and still is. The Lord has brought me through and taught me many things through my role as a mother, and one of the most important is that we are all individual people, created unique by God, with strengths and gifts of our own. And those gifts, talents, quirks, etc don’t always fit in MY box!
It can be hard to remember that we are all individuals and have unique needs. Particularly when you’re trying to interact with a toddler! I agree, it is important to keep that in mind – everyone has strengths, and it’s important for us to encourage those.
Have a great day!